Sara |
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VIDEO
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Learn the VOCABULARY
for this video! |
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My name is Sārā, I'm nineteen years old, I live in the
center of the city of Tehran with my Mom, Dad and brother... |
اسمم سارا است، نوزده سالمه، مرکز شهر تهران
زندگی میکنم با مامانم و بابام و برادرم... |
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Elementary school I finished two-three years ago. |
مدرسهام دو سه سال پیش تمام شده. |
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I forced myself recently to get through these
few credits
hours (in high school) since I knew I wanted to go to art
school. |
این واحدهای آخرم به زور پاس میکردم چون
میدونستم که میخوام برم هنرستان. |
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After that, you know, I didn't feel like studying,
natural
sciences and botany, biology and geology were a big pain for
me. |
بعد دیگه اصلاً دلم نمیخواست درس بخونم
تجربی
خوندن و زیستگیاهی و زیستجونوری و زمینشناسی خوندن واقعاً
عذاب دهنده است واسه من. |
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I just got done with the university when the time came for
taking the Concours exam, ahh, but I didn't take it. |
پیش دانشگاهی که تموم شد وقت کنکور رسیده بود
اههه
ولی من کنکور ندادم. |
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Actually, right in the first year I'd said ok, I don't
want to study at all, I'll study next year. The next year I
went to a Concours prep class and I was really seriously
studying [when] a whole string of bad things happened to me,
what I'm saying is that a bunch of guys were making phone
calls to our home and threatening to rape me. |
اصلاً همون سال اوّل گفتم که من اصلاً امسال
نمیخوام درس بخونم سال بعد شروع میکنم سال بعد رفتم کلاس
کنکور و خیلی داشتم جدی درس میخوندم یه سری اتفاقات خیلی بدی
واسم افتاد و اونم اینا بود که یه سری آدم زنگ میزدن خونمون و
تهدیدم میکردن به تجاوز. |
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These calls continued until one day when I'd gone to buy
books and was returning, it was half past eight and sort of
dark out, suddenly some guy came out in front of me from the
middle of the [bushy] box-trees, then you know these box-trees are
all right next to each other so I was thinking there was sort
of no opening through them. |
این تلفنا ادامه داشت تا اینکه یه روز که رفته
بودم کتاب بخرم داشتم بر میگشتم، ساعت هم هشت و نیم بود هوام
مثلاً نیمه تاریک بود، یه دفعه یک نفر از وسط شمشادا اومد جلوی
من، بعد این شمشادام همه پشت سر همن دیگه مگه اینکه وسطش یه
جاهایی مثلاً باز باشه. |
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I saw two guys were standing behind me, they got hold of me
and one of them who was behind me covered my mouth and was
unbuttoning my manteau and |
دیدم دو نفر پشت سر من واسادن، اونام منو گرفتن
و یکی از اونا که پشت سرم بود جلو دهنمو گرفتش و دکمهٔ مانتومو
باز میکرد و |
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a taxi driver was on the other side of the street and lucky
for me his car had broken down and as I was screaming at
first you won't believe it, it was like he couldn't hear |
یه راننده تاکسی اونور خیابون بود و از شانس
من ماشینش خراب شده بود همینطوری که من داشتم جیغ میزدم اوّلش
نگو که شنیده بوده |
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There was an old taxi driver, he was very old, so then... |
راننده تاکسی خیلی پیری هم بود خیلی پیر بود،
بعد |
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people started hitting this guy, three people then then they
were hitting the guy and I escaped, I'm running away and
there's one of them running after me |
شروع کردن به زدن یارو سه نفری بعد اونا
یارو میزدن و من در رفتم، اومدم فرار کنم یکیشون هم دنبال من
میدوید |
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folks were just standing there staring, not doing anything
and I kept on crying |
مردم هم همینجور واسادن نگاه میکردن هیچکاری
نمیکردن و من هی گریه میکردم |
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No one did anything for me, I just stood there and watched,
then I went home, I was pretty messed up, then later that
night, when my Dad and the others came, we went to the
precinct and there they said we have to register a
formal complaint. |
هیشکی کاری به کارم نداشت منم همینجور واسادم
نگاه میکردم بعد اومدم خونه خیلی حالم بد بود بعد شب بابام
اینا اومدن رفتیم
کلانتری همین جا بعد گفتن که باید پرونده
تشکیل بشه، |
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We filled out the form but they couldn't do anything, not a
single one of them. |
پرونده رو تشکیل دادیم ولی این هیچکاری
نتونستند بکنند هیچکدومشون. |
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In fact, Mom had become really upset
over this incident so I tried to sort of say like
"No, nothing at all happened to me, I'm fine, (relais,
from the French) when
actually, I was not well at all. |
اصلاً مامانم اینا داغون شدن سر این اتفاق و
من سعی کردم مثلاً بگم که نه هیچ اتفاقی نیفتاده واسه
منو و من خیلی رلهم و اصلاً
خیلی حالم خوبه ولی واقعاً حالم خوب نبود |
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Like, I mean I would always sit down to study, it was
possible to have a book in front of me for four hours, but
ok, maybe out of these four hours, only five minutes
of that would I actually be studying, the whole time my mind
would be someplace else. |
مثلاً یعنی همیشه میخواستم بشینم درس بخونم
ممکن بود چهار ساعت کتاب جلوم باشه، ولی خوب ممکن بود از این
چهار ساعت، فقط پنج دقیقشو درس بخونم همش ذهنم اونور بود |
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The incidents stopped but well, still they've left an effect
on me, I mean, I've become such that now if a car goes
by, especially if it passes right alongside of me, I
immediately get startled and I get this bad feeling. |
این قضایا تمام شد ولی خوب بازم تأثیر خودشو
گذاشت یعنی طوری شدم که الآن موتور مخصوصاً
از بغلم رد میشه
زود میپرم اصلاً یه حال خیلی بدی پیدا میکنم |
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So, that for the first time I' d agreed to take the Concours
and got accepted at Yazd, uhm,
then my Mom and everyone were saying to not even talk about
even having been accepted anywhere outside of Tehran since you know since
that happened they absolutely couldn't send me anywhere
alone after this bad thing happened to me. |
خلاصه اینکه برای اولین بار کنکور دادم... اهه
...
یزد
قبول شدم بعد مامانم اینا گفتن
حرف شهرستانم تو اصلاً قبول شدی
حرفشو نزن چون میدونی اون اتفاقم افتاده بود اصلاً نمیتونستن
منو تنها بفرستن بعد از اینکه این اتفاق بد واسم افتاد و |
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Then, when I didn't get accepted to the universities, well,
it was all of a sudden a hard
blow and everything sort of blurred together
and I started feeling I was only eating and sleeping and I decided to
get a job. |
بعدش هم که دانشگاهم قبول نشدم، خوب خیلی ضربه
خوردم، یه دفعه و همه چی رو همدیگه جمع شده بود و من احساس
کردم که خیلی دارم میخورم و میخوابم، تصمیم گرفتم که کار کنم. |
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Maybe I needed the money, you know, like, I used to like to,
sort of, when I go buy really brand-name clothes, I pay and
not my mom. Actually, I
never thought I'd be able to find a job. |
به پولش شاید احتیاج داشتم میدونی
مثلاً دوست داشتم
که مثلاً اگه میرم یه لباس خیلی مارکدار میخرم خودم پولشو
بدم نه مامانم. اصلاً فکر نمیکردم کار گیرم بیاد. |
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I went to the old bookstore where I used to buy books and
asked the guy in charge, "Excuse me, you don't need any
help, do you?" |
رفتم تو همون کتابفروشی که همیشه ازش کتاب
میخریدم رفتم به مسؤولش گفتم که ببخشید شما نیروی کمکی
نمیخواین؟ |
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Then the guy in charge said, "Why do you want a job?"
Then I told him that I feel I've become useless, the only
thing I do is eat and sleep and then I really like the
atmosphere of the place. |
بعد مسؤولش گفت واسه چی میخوای بری کار کنی بعد
بهاش گفتم که احساس میکنم که خیلی بیخاصیت شدم همش میخورم
و میخوابم بعد محیط اونجا رو هم خیلی دوست داشتم |
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Above that bookshop was a café run by a woman. So,
she said to me, "If you want,
you can work in the café." That was for me something
totally new and cool. |
بالای اون کتابفروشی یه کافه بود که
مسؤلش یه خانمی بود. بعد اون به من گفت اگه بخوای میتونی تو
کافه کار کنی. منم خیلی واسم تازهگی داشت |
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That I should be going to work
in a café, that too, in a bookshop-café and in fact, in
cafés in Tehran, in Iran, it rarely happens that a lady, a
woman should want to work in
them, especially a young woman, that's very unusual. |
اینکه توی یه کافه کار کنم اونم تو یه کافهٔ کتاب
بخوام و اصولاً کافه توی تهران تو ایران خیلی کم پیش میاد که
یه خانم یه زن بخواد توش کار کنه مخصوصاً یه دختر بخواد توش
کار کنه خیلی کمه. |
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So then I went, she said maybe you won't like cleaning
tables here but then these are your
friends. (dusthā-ye to hastand)
But I said ok and you know, I was totally excited and so I agreed,
then it was decided that I'd come on Tuesdays. |
بعد رفتم گفت ممکنه که دوست نداشته باشی
میز اینجا رو تمیز کنی ولی اینا دوستاتن. قبول
کردم میدونی با کلی ذوق و اینا قبول کردم بعد
سهشنبه قرار
بود من بیام. |
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The first day was really hard, you know, for my mom, it was
really weird like I never did any work around the house and
now here I'd gone to a place where like, I mean, I was
asking myself, what do you want to do, you want to
wait tables and that was really something for me. |
روز اوّل خیلی سخت بود میدونی برا مامانم
اینا خیلی عجیب بود مثلاً من تو خونه هیچ کاری نمیکنم حالا
اومدم تو یه محیطی که مثلاً یعنی چی حالا میخوای میز تمیز کنی
و اینا خیلی جالب بود واسم |
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I would go to restaurants with the gang, they would all get
money from their moms but I was like, with my own money I'd
earned |
با بچّهها میرفتیم رستوران اونا از مامانشون
اینا پول میگرفتن و من مثلاً پول خودم بود خودم کار کرده بودم |
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You know, it was a different sort of pleasure for me to be
able to eat whatever I felt like, it was a great experience,
then, little-by-little I moved on. |
میدونی یه لذّت دیگهای داشت میدونی راحت
میتونستم هرچه دلم میخواد بخورم تجربهٔ خیلی عالی بود بعد
دیگه کمکم کمکم
من باید از اونجا آمدم بیرون |
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You know, I spent nine months, ten months there and then I
had to go do a bunch of different things, among them, (echo
reduplication: vasat-masat ham) I took
a lot of classes, I went to a Photoshop class, there was a
French class, I went to a few sessions and then dropped it,
then I went to a series of meditation classes. |
میدونی نه ماه هشت ماه اونجا وقتمو گذاشته
بودم و باید به یه سری کارای دیگم میرسیدم، این وسط مسطم یه
سری کلاس میرفتم، کلاس فتوشاپ میرفتم، کلاس فرانسه بود، چند
جلسه رفتم، ول کردم، بعد یه سری کلاسای مدیتیشن میرفتم. |
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Umm, earlier, I'd met this guy who was sort of pushing /
urging
me to do all that but anyhow, I didn't
pursue that, then... |
اههه این قبلش با یه پسری آشنا شده بودم که اونم هلم داد یه خرده به اونوری ولی خوب بعد دیگه ادامه ندادم، بعد... |
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Then...I was taking ... what's it called class...photography
critique and philosophy, I dropped that too, then I went to
a bunch of drawing classes, I dropped drawing class too;
I dropped my drawing class since it was on Fridays and then,
the only time I could be with my family was on Fridays so I
had no choice without even worrying about it / without
another thought. ( bi khiyāl-e
ān beshavam) |
بعد...کلاس چیز میرفتم، نقد عکس و فلسفه، اونم ول
کردم، بعد یه سری کلاس طراحی میرفتم، کلاس طراحیم ول کردم، کلاس
طراحیمو ول کردم چون جمعه میشد و بعد من فقط جمعهها
میتونستم با خانوادهام باشم، اونم مجبور شدم
بیخیالششم. |
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I didn't take my classes all that seriously, by nature, I'm
the kind of person who needs to always have someone sort of
standing over me, forcing me to get stuff done.
Now my mother is saying, "All you do is jump from one branch
to another." |
من کلاسامو زیاد جدّی نگرفتم، چون من اصولاً یه
آدمیام که فیکر میکنم باید همیشه بالا سرم یه خرده زور باشه.
من الآن مادرم داره میگه تو همش داری از این
شاخه به اون شاخه میپری. |
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But if I do go [hopping from branch to branch],
why? It's because one
wants to find something better and choose that, |
ولی میپرم چرا چون میخوای یه چیز بهتری پیدا
کنم
و اونو انتخاب کنم |
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you know, that thing I'll be able to focus
on, you know, all this time, my mom and everyone
were paying all my expenses |
میدونی ذهنمو
متمرکز اون کنم که بتونم اهههه میدونی تا الآن مامانم اینا بودن
هزینهٔ منو میدادن |
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so that at least one day I'll be able to say, for the
time being I'm satisfied
since, well, what I want I'm going to go get and buy and wear, you
know, but I know I the lazy one, if I want I can
stand on my own feet or if I don't, it'll be leading a life not worth anything. |
لااقل که
یه روزی بشه من بتونم الآن راضیم چون خوب که دیگه چی میخوام
میرم میگیرم میخرم میپوشم میدونی ولی میدونم اگه بخوام
منه تنبل اگه بخوام رو
پای خودم وایستم و اگه نخوام تلاش کنم
یه
زندگی سگی دارم |
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It's sort of my goal to become a really good graphics
designer but sometimes I totally
forget what I want out of life that whatever else I want, at least I want to
leave this house and have a good life. |
من مثلاً هدفم اینه که یه گرافیست خیلی خوبی
باشم ولی یه موقعهایی کاملاً یادم میره که
چی میخوام لااقلش
اینکه از این خونه که رفتم یه زندگی خوبی داشته باشم. |
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